Friday, Jan 20
Two mathematicians are arguing about a conjecture. Hans says,
"it must be true because I have a marvelous proof."
The second Mathematician, Linda, says "No, Hans. It can't be true,
because I have a counter-example."
Hans replies: "That doesn't matter. I have a second proof."
Mon, Jan 23
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is
reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE SEEKS MALE COMPANIONSHIP, ETHNICITY UNIMPORTANT. I
AM A VERY GOOD LOOKING GIRL WHO LOVES TO PLAY. I LOVE LONG WALKS IN THE
WOODS, RIDING IN YOUR PICKUP TRUCK, HUNTING, CAMPING AND FISHING TRIPS, COZY
WINTER NIGHTS LYING BY THE FIRE. CANDLELIGHT DINNERS WILL HAVE ME EATING OUT
OF YOUR HAND. I'LL BE AT THE FRONT DOOR WHEN YOU GET HOME FROM WORK, WEARING
ONLY WHAT NATURE GAVE ME. CALL(404) 875-5555 AND ASK FOR DAISY. I'LL BE
WAITING............
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black labrador retriever.
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Theorem. All positive integers are interesting.
Proof: Suppose not. Let S be the set of all non-interesting positive
integers. By the Well-Ordering Principle, S has a smallest element n.
But being the smallest "boring" numbers is an interesting thing to say
about n. Contradiction.
Wed, Jan 25
Two math majors are eating lunch at the Junction. The first tells his
friend "anybody could learn a little calculus," to which his friend replies,
"Are you crazy? Calculus is the hardest subject I ever took. There's got
to be lots of people who could never understand it."
"Alright," says the first guy, "I'll be you I can teach our waitress some
calculus. If I win, you pay the bill; if you win, I'll pay."
"It's a bet," says the other math major.
So the first guy goes over to waitress and says in a low voice, "I want
you to come over to our table with some coffee. When I give you the signal
I want you to say "one third $x$ cubed."
"Won Thur Dex Cue," mimics the waitress.
"Close enough," says the man, "keep practicing it."
In a couple of minutes the waitress comes over with some coffee and
the first man asks her "I just bet my friend that you know the integral
of $x$ squared," to which she replies "one third $x$ cubed."
As she leave the table, she says over her shoulder, "plus, of course,
an arbitrary constant."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, Jan 27
"Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus class: they have
been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's
time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to
drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though the
exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at
the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When
they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over.
They go to the professor's office and offer him an explanation: "We went to
our friend's birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on
Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we
were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help."
The professor nods sympathetically and says: "I see that it was not your fault.
I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning."
When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the
professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other
that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are
already in place, and confidently, the students start writing.
The first question - five points out of one hundred - is a simple exercise in
integration, and all four finish it within five minutes.
When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of
the exam booklet and reads on the next one:
Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?