Two women, one a math major and the other a COMS major, are jogging together
by the lagoon when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted
Prince. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken - and I will be yours forever..."
The math student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides -
making not even an attempt to kiss it.
"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're
afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just
kiss me..."
The frog's voice is silenced, when the math major puts the animal into her
purse.
"But why don't you kiss him?!" the COMS student asks.
"You know", the math student replies, "I simply don't have time for a
boyfriend - but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet..."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they are okay, then it's you."
--Rita Mae Brown
Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b
So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
Theorem: There are infinitely many composite numbers.
Proof: Suppose, towards a contradiction, there are only finitely
many composite numbers
C1, C2, C3, . . . , Cn.
Multiply them together and DON'T ADD 1.